Its not easy...Stressful... ):

Everytime tell me wont be back late but at last still so late..Not liking him to go out till so late at night but still dont want to control him too much...Am I not giving him enough freedom?? Am I controlling him too much?? Hais.. ): I dont like him to go out at night but still must happily say go ahead...I dont wish to control him or tie him too much but sometimes, the feeling really sucks...Letting go? How much can I let go? How much should I let go? If I let go, will things happen? Dating & marriage is really different...The fear is even more...So many cases makes me scare...I really scare of all these...What should I do?

Always want to talk him about this & other things but always cannot manage to speak out from my mouth!!!!!! Always thinking his work so busy, if tell him all these, wait he irritated then how? Wait he find me unreasonable then how? Courage, why can't I overcome it!!!! I hate it la.....I hate all these....Always crying in the middle of night...What can I do to overcome my stupid problem...Now pregnant, even more emotional...Mood even more unstable...Can he understand me?
Sad... ):

Anw my Dearest Hubby, Happy 1yr 1month...I love you super loads, I really do...Y

How much do I really mean to you??? This question has always been in my mind....
Am I important to you? Is the baby inside me important to you too? Where do we stand?

Sometimes, I feel we are not that important to you... ): Whenever I think about this, it always make me cry secretly in the night...Feeling so lonely & unsecure...This feeling is really terrible... ): ): ):

Firstly; most impt thing to say to my lovely Hubby....

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABY & HAPPY MARRIAGE TO BOTH OF US :D :D

Our big day has just gone pass like tt but it was a beautiful & happy day we both had together & it will always be remembered in our heart & mind :) I love you Hubby!!! Thanks for giving me such a beautiful memory & day. Well kept in my mind & heart (: (:

See, time flies...Now I'm married & a mother-to-be...Its going to be a super big step to take...Hoping I can cope well with everything...

Sometimes you are not what you want to be, but the situation force you to be what you have to be. It's not easy & no one say its going to be easy. Hope I can cope well :)

HAPPY TIGER NEW YEAR & HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE!!!!
Well well, a new year to begin with!! Quite looking forward to it actually..I hope this year will be a good year for everyone!! Lets heng heng all the way!!~ HUAT AHHH HUAT AHH HUAT AHH!!!!

This year Valentine's day & CNY happens to be the same day!! Is it a good thing? Hmmm....Might not be I guess!!~ My first V.day but Baby not here with me ): He went JB to visit his relatives...Nvm, everyday will be V.day...Have to say this to myself so I will feel better...LOL!!~
Anw, though this year dont really have the ambience of CNY but still I enjoy the gathering with my relatives..The feeling is really great, the laughters and our chit chat topics!! Wee~~ Hope the CNY gathering wont stop...

Don't know how I feel right now, don't feel very good also...This year I will offend ppl cause of my attitude..Really have serious attitude problem..Have to think before I act...Hope this will go away quickly... (:


Things are already different...It will never be like the same before...

Happy 9th month Baby!!
But you're outstation so no way to celebrate also...
Just want to let you know I Love You!!~

& Back to post again....

Well well well, Baby is outstation again...This time 2 weeks...What if is going to be 2 months? Omg...Really hate Baby to be outstation... It sucks!!! ): ): ):

This week is really difficult to pass..Everyday waiting for him to be online, always late night...Hais...So many thoughts in my mind...When bf is going to be outstation often, in order to maintain the r/s well, the most impt thing is trust for one another...Its easy to say but difficult to do...Action always speak louder than words...Hmmm....
I will trust him & Baby, you must give me your trust ok? Waiting for you to be back..
I love you...

Good news this year, solid 2010..Not going to mention anything now but I'm looking forward to it... (:
17 Apr, the day I'm looking forward to...The once in a lifetime day for me to be princess & the story is really going to begin, living happily ever after (: (:

Mood swings are really terrible...Wait sad, wait happy, wait attitude...Can I stop all those mood swings??? ):

Happy 8th month Baby!!
I love you super deep deep!!~

Time passes really fast! From the day I first met Baby till now, its already more than 8 months! Still remember how I first met Baby, the first hug that I gave him. The everyday Msn conversations after work or weekends. The cheesecake & KTV session. The video call. The outings, dinner & movies. The heart-to-heart talk before we are together, getting to know one another better!! Everything with him!! Can never forget these sweet memories with you dear! Sweet & memorable :D Baby, thanks for everything that you've done for me these past few months. You always never fail to make me smile & happy. Getting to know you is really the happiest thing in my life. The moment you step into my life, I know you're the one that will keep me going, pulling me up when I fall & finish my whole life story together with me. Knowing that you love me so much, I'm really happy & satisfied! Although sometimes I may not speak very nicely to you but still, I don't mean anything. You're always giving in to me no matter how. All the quarrels & arguments we had, although sad but we get to even understand each other and also to be more open to one another. Not forgetting all the happy & sweet memories we had together!!~ No matter what, I love you super loads (: You are & will always be the most important person in my life. Its you that I matters!! Our story will never end~

Year 2009 is getting out of my way soon!! & Year 2010 is coming already! Quite excited for the brand new year! Because it'll be a brand new start for me. Going to work hard after I get a job, save money & put full attention on my Baby & family! They are always the most important people in my life!
First christmas spent with Baby, First countdown for 2010 with Baby~ Woo!!~ Happy :D :D

Baby, I love you!!!~

I think no one is reading my blog anymore cause they thought its dead already :) So I'll just say my things here...


Baby is back & this cheer me up today (: See his cute little face with his bright smile, always make me smile (: My sunshine :D :D

So many things happened this year & some things, no one knows about it. I used to say everything out to my loved ones but now, I chose to keep everything to myself. All I do is only cry & cry & cry!!!!!! Cause it always make me feel better but this always never solve the problem. & it really pissed me off, but what can I do? What should I do? What is it that is missing? Courage??? Bb used to tell me to have more courage, I want to but what's stopping me? Sometimes, I really envy ladies with courage, able to fight for themselves but me? Not at all.....Only know how to hide from problems, depend on people....


Now, family also got problem. Making me feel so stupid & useless! Stupid, really stupid!! Is not that I'm not understanding or I don't know what happen. I know everything. You all say I everytime say 'I know, I know' but actually I don't know anything. Perhaps, maybe I am?? I don't even know what am I thinking. I just felt so helpless. Nowadays not having a good sleep, dreaming all the stupid damn bad things! Year 2009, really a torture to me. Cry more than having a good laugh ): Problems will never stop coming & happiness will only come in a period of time. WTF!! No wonder so many people are having so many sickness....!! Can everything be better??


Baby, I'm sorry about just now. I really didn't hear you saying that, maybe I'm not concentrating at all. I should have think of you too!!! Too many things in my head, really very tired. Just want to seek some of your understanding, just want you to be there for me can already. It hurt just now, but nvm. It's all over. I still love you!!~ (: I also want things to go well, trying my best to think of solutions but...Nvm... Seeyou soon le. I love you!


Well, interview tomorrow, wish me luck cause no one wish me any luck yet till now~ ):




Her christmas wish:-
1. Wishing that Year 2010 & following years will be better for her & her loved ones.
2. Wishing that everything will goes smoothly in r/s, family & work.
3. Wishing to be able to study further if I can.
4. To have more & more courage from now on & in the following years.
5. Lastly, World Peace :D

Baby is out of town!!! ): ):

I always can't bear to see him leave :(

& next month is the longest period of time he'll be out of town :(

Anw, I love this pic loads & Baby love this too~

Baby, I miss you super super duper duper much!!! Faster come back la you!!~ Ppl waiting for you here liaos you know!! Hee :D :D

Tomorrow gg airport to pick Baby up!!!~ Wee!! Super happy! Can't wait for tomorrow to come!! :D

Year 2009 is finally going to end and here comes 2010!!~ Really hope everything will be better!! This year really sucks to the core!! Everything has not been going smoothly for me, really pissed me off! But still w/ Baby around, things has always been better~

I want/wish/pray/hope 2010 & the remaining years to be better for me & Baby too!! Unlike this year for me. Hais ):

Christmas is cominggg!! First Christmas spent with him <3

I love you Baby, always!!!~ MUACK!!! :D

HAPPY 7th MONTH BABY!!
Our love will always stay strong & happy. You're all I ever wanted in my life.
You're and will be my future. I love you always!!!!

Back from Taiwan trip for more than a week alr (:

Was waiting for Taiwan trip to come the last few weeks and now I'm back from Taiwan!! & I miss Taiwan, all our lovely memories there!!! :D :D :D

Anyway, things wasn't as smooth as it goes last few days. But I'm glad & happy that we managed to sort things out properly. Not going to mention what actually happened but still, I'm guilty for all the things that happened. Heart really ache so much at the period of time but now it's already healing and I hope you're healing too (:

Still, wanting to tell you I really love you lots Baby!!! I will keep all my promises made to you and you too :) I know I'm very important to you because you're equally important to me. We know we can't afford to lose each other and we won't make all these happen to us. Everything is worth it for you. I'm not going to say so much here because I want to tell you in person. Hee (: I love you Baby, always & forever!!

Our love are still staying strong (:

Taiwan, I am coming!!~~ :D :D

Super excited!! Have to take super lots of pictures!! :)

Will update once I am back!

& I love you, Baby!! ♥

♥ HAPPY 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!!
My loveliest, sweetest & cutest boy of mine!!I love you deeply!~

We're together 1/2 a year already...& Soon, it'll be 1 year.!! Let our love continue burning!! Hahahah!! Anw, just want to tell you I love you super duper much!! Remember we must be honest to each other ok? (: I love you dear~ MUACK!!! ♥

Thanks for everything...

This year definitely not a good year for me...Many things happen, many things change...
Is not I dont wish to tell you guys, is I dont even know how to start telling you guys..
I chose to keep everything to myself..& I realise that make me very miserable..

I really weaken alot, no longer that strong girl smiling all the way...
I want back my smile...

Baby is out of town ):

Baby is leaving for KL for business trip tomorrow morning ): I will miss him~ Faster come back!!
Well, dinner with Baby's family.. A happy dinner with them today, felt being part of them (: I love them & Baby!!

Been tog with Baby for coming 1/2 a year already (: Looking forward for more months & years to come.. Lets build up our small little house very soon. Hee~
Baby, I will always remember what you'd said to me the other day! I will always be there for you~ MUACK!!!! :D :D
I LOVE YOU BABY!!!! ♥

And exam is coming & it falls on the Sunday! Totally spoil my weekend mood! :/ Hope my studies faster end!! February faster come!! (: Have to study while Baby's is out of town so I have more time for him on Friday :)

2 Things to count down:

1) Taiwan Trip: Another 23 more days, Yippee!!~~ I'm so looking forward to this trip! First overseas aeroplane trip with him!!~
2) My last day in ofc: Another 11 more days (exl sat & sun). I will definitely miss lunching with Baby & miss see-ing Baby in office ):


Negative thoughts will lead to negative things to happen... I will try my best to put all those negative stuffs out of my head...

Great weekend spent with Baby ♥ Its Love, I'm loved!! ~~

Baby is finally back from KL :D :D I miss him super duper much la!!~ Meet Siao Siao & Kim @ Douby after work. As usual, went Alps cafe for dinner & k-ing :) Chit chat & Baby came to pick me up..So happy to see him... :) Went Whampoa for his hokkien mee & back to his home for a nap..

As usual, class on Saurday..Cousin came to pick me up & meet Baby after class..Went to his house to rot awhile & went Queensway for my favourite 锅贴..Super delicious! After which went Ikea & Giant for our car wash equipment..Back to my home after which... :D

Great long rotting Sunday spent with Baby...Went Cafe Cartel for breakfast :) After which, went back Baby's house, changed and Car Washing time :D Help Baby to wash the car & back home to eat & nap! Hee! Great weekend spent with him..


Happy to hear from Baby about his plan for our future..Baby, you are the only one that make me think of our own house, our big day, our family & our kids! :) I love you very very much dear!!~~

HAPPY SWEET BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST BOY ♥ ~~
Well, hope you have enjoyed your bdae this yr Baby!! I really enjoyed myself with you. Feeling very comfortable whenever I am with you. All the best to you for your future!! Jiayou~~ I trust you!! You sure can do it!! Also, hope you loved the present I gave you! hee~ I love you dear!!~~


Anyway, tender my resignation letter alr...Finally everything come to an end~ Baby, thanks for listening to me! Anyway, many things happened & I am really glad Baby had stayed through with me all the way..Giving me all his support & courage to face & fight for myself..Without him, I dont think I will do that..

Baby, thanks for everything...!! Really....Without you, I dont think I am able to make it...You really gave me everything that I need throughout this whole thing...really very touched & happy!! I love you really very much! Super loads!!
Anw, take good care while you are in KL.. I will miss you very badly till Friday!!! :D :D

I love you Baby!!!~~ MUACK!! :D

Meeting with girlfriends & brothers tomorrow...hahha...Chit chatting time... :D :D

HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR~

I love you always, Baby! The sweetest & loveliest boy of mine :)
I love Jason Tan & I want to be with him ONLY!!~


I had finally made up my mind & I have own points in making this decision. Well, things will be better (:
Felt really kind of relief, no longer so depressed about this issue anymore...It has been giving me sleepless night every Sunday & weekdays...Hais...Panda eyes!!! :( :(

Finally, I had told Baby everything that I want to tell him & I feel so much better...Seeing him trying to understand me, putting in so much effort on me...I really feel very touched...
Hmmm, thanks dear~ I appreciate on what you've done for me...What you've said to me, I will bear those words in mind..Having you in my life is really a blessing for me despite those arguments we had...& I don't mind to suffer with you, really!! As I've said, be it bad times or good times, I am always here!!! (: This is all what we've to go through so our love can last till the end (: As long as I don't lose you, everything means nothing to me already because you're the most important person in my life now...I can afford to lose anything but I cannot afford to lose you.. Not forgetting my family too~
Being together with you these few months, there are more happiness than unhappiness...I want you to be my last & only one...That is what I want to say to you...

And, I am looking forward in spending the rest of my life with you... Let our love carry on (: I love you Baby! ♥

Troubles are only temporary, learn to overcome it & you'll become a better person...

Well, I am trying to overcome it...

Things hasn't been right this month.. Many things had happened and I am trying to make things right but it doesn't seem so.. Is all these entirely my fault? It is a good learning place for me & I will learn as much as I can... (: Still, I am afraid of making the wrong decision & going to the wrong direction.. I don't want to make myself regret..

Baby, thanks for being there.. Lets find one day to seriously have a chat...

I love you & I seriously miss you badly! ): Muack! :)

There are so many thoughts in my mind now...
I seriously hate myself for being this way....
I don't know what's in me now....


ARGH!!!~~~~

♥ HAPPY SWEET 4th MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!~~

Well, excited about so many things! Taiwan trip, Dad's & Baby's new car! Wee~
I am super looking forward for my Taiwan trip with family & Baby!! ♥ November, faster come to me!! I love you so much!! Hahaha!! :D :D
Anyway, 4months pass already. As happy as ever with Baby. Love between us is getting stronger already.

Baby, thanks for everything. It's been really tough on you. I am touched that you're trying very hard to make me happy & xinfu! I love you alot, really! (: I will always stand by you no matter bad or good times! I promise! I won't let you be alone to bear all the burdens. There are many more months, years to come for us!! Hee~ I love you so so so so much Baby!! & I trust you that you'll be able to make me happy & smile all the way!!
Thanks for everything you'd done for me dear. I love you forever!!~~

Finally back from short trip in Malaysia. Well, a happy trip in Genting of course. With my family & baby, really a great trip together & I will miss that. But on the way back, it didn't went on smoothly. But still, I guess it's a blessing in disguise? Met up with a massive accident with Baby on the way back. Car totally damaged, no medicine to save already but most lucky is both of us came out WITHOUT any srcatches. Miracle! Was really in shock & lost at that point of time. Really start scolding everyone there like some mad woman on the road. Hais.
Anyway, hope everything will be over very very soon. Baby's car gone case, procedures to carry out. Hais. Problem!
Urgent leave today to settle stuffs with him. Rush off lessons at night, tiring but I am glad to see him ok & I hope he is.

Baby, a message to you. Listen hard. I will always be there for you no matter what happens & you know I will. We went through Life & Death together. Nothing is much more important than you. I know you can be able to go through & overcome this. Take it as a test for us. I will be with you to go through all the problems ok. Jiayou dear~ & Thanks for protecting & taking care of me all the way through home & when I am sick last week.. You & my family are No.1 to me! No one is ever going to replace that!
I love you & I always will.

Serious damage of the front & back of our precious car ):

Thanks for being there Baby (:

I love you!

HAPPY SWEET 16th BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER :D

Sweet 16th already! Please know how to think for yourself la. Only know how to go dating, must STUDY HARD! Jiayou Bro!! :D Jie will always be here for you though I am very busy now. After my studies, I will accompany you more often (: Good luck & do your best for your upcoming exams. I LOVE YOU LITTLE BRO :D :D

Work didn't went on smoothly. Have learnt several things during these past 2 weeks & I should now be able to see who should be treated right & who should not. They are selfish & only think of themselves but not others. I believe everywhere I go, there are sure Assholes & Suckers out there trying to harm people to benefit themselves! Wth~ Anyway, whatever had happened already happened. I will just do my best but it is really stressful & uncomfortable in such working environment. People whom I trusted so much is not as what I thought they would be. Things now has already changed & I will never trust them anymore :)

Baby, thanks for being there for me whenever I need you during these tough weeks for me :) I am glad & happy to have you by my side. I'm no longer looking forward for my work already. I'm only looking forward to see your smile everyday during lunch & after work asking me 'Sweetie, hows work & everything? Good?' I feel really good & an wei whenever I hear this from your mouth. I am sorry that I hide these things from you dear. I just don't want you to worry for me. Anyway, just want to tell you that I love you & will always be there for you too :) I hope everything will always be so smooth sailing & right because I am afraid. I love you for life dear! :)

It's time to meet up with my girlfriends already. Feel so guilty for not meeting them since then. Sorry girls. I will meet up with you all for a drink. Heart pain & guilty when I hear you saying that to me ): I am sorry girl.

I don't feel good. It's tough but I will learn how to overcome it.

I am so super in love with him!! ♥



Well, 2nd month is over already for Baby & me (: Now is the beginning of 3rd month. I am happy ever since I'm with him, really happy :D I have never ever regret being with you. Times spent with you are really happy & sweet. I can only sense happiness & sweetness in this r/s :)
Without him, my life wouldn't be so beautiful at all. Thanks to my sweetest Baby of mine :)

I am really looking forward for the next stage & step of our life together. I really cannot afford to lose you. My feelings for you is now getting stronger & deeper each day pass.
Just want to tell you that I really treasure every moments spent with you & the time spent with you is always never enough. I want to spent more time with you.

After talking to my Mom ystd, I really felt uncomfortable. I am thinking of how to split my time & some other stuffs. It's easy saying but difficult in planning. I really want to spend more time with you Baby. The moment I cannot see you, I feel so super uneasy ): I feel so helpless now. How should I plan my time properly ):

What I promise him, I did not do it. I feel so guilty now. I'm sorry Baby.
Still the person I love most is you, always you!

Ok, it's time for bed. I need to sleep early.
Last, I LOVE YOU BABY!!

Happy sweet 2nd Month Baby ♥
I LOVE YOU!! (:



Sweet moments with my loved ones :D

Thursday Night Dinner w/ Sweet Baby (:

Baby baked this sweet heart shape cake for me (: ILU!!

& I bought this for Baby. It's gonna be our life story :D

OUR Photo Album :)

I have nothing much to say already because everything is now beyond words already. Hee (:

Just want to say I am happy & contented :)

I just want to be with you. I love you dear!

Sweetest Boy of Mine ♥

Pictures of Desaru Trip w/ Baby & family.

Really enjoyed myself tt whole day, a great weekend spent w/ my family. Baby, just want to tell you, you are already part of my family :) ILU!

Golf day :D :D

The 1st time Bb taught me golf. Well, it was aching & a little tough learning how to grip & get the posture right but I enjoy golf tt day & I know I will love it more & more :) & I did not miss any ball. Whahahahas. I know I am smart!! :D :D Woohoo~~ But still, I want more golf session! Baby, lets do it. I need more practise. Haha!

Bowling day (:

Dad & Mom went Genting last weekend so left Baby, me & bro. Thanks to Bb for making my weekend a wonderful one. Bb brought didi for breakfast, dinner & bowling session. Woo~ Great!!! Bb, I can see you're trying your very best & I love you (:

I really enjoyed this weekend totally! :)

Dearest, I want to note down every little thing we do everday on the calender of mine till I'm super duper old :) You're already part of my life & everywhere I go & do, you're always the 1st one that I will think of. I need you badly & I'm never gonna let you go :) I want to see your face every morning I wake up & before I go to bed. I just want to be with you but not anyone else. You'll always be a part of me & I want to spend the rest of my life with you only.

I promise I will work hard for it & maintain our love at this state always.

I love you, always! ♥